Bring Me The Sexy...

This is for everyone...

Specifically for the fellas...

Guys I really need you to read this and possibly take notes. SERIOUSLY!!!

So its a Friday or Saturday night. You decide to hit either your favorite nightlife venue or try something new. While there you see an extremely (well you find her) attractive woman either sitting with her girls or standing and chit chatting (yeah I said chit chatting) with some people she knows. This is where it may get a little bit tricky. By now you've probably had 1 or 2 drinks and are feeling yourself. DO NOT stare this woman down. Why? It freaks us the heck out when you're staring at us like were a 2 piece from Popeye's and you haven't eaten in 12 hours. DO NOT give us the wink. Why? That ish went out in the 80's and you look so lame when doing it. DO NOT stare at her ass as she walks past. Why? It's degrading and makes us feel cheap and we really won't give you the time of day the chick is not a hoe and if that is what you want than stop reading NOW!

Social Gathering Etiquette 101 for Men:
If the beautiful image (yes I can get metaphorical) is across the room approach her and gently tap her. Don't grab her waist, touch her ass... yes some Negro's are bold to do that ish. Pay her a small compliment don't go way deep into "Yeah baby I saw you from across the room and you took my breath away I had to come and know your name"... Its 2011 and we will laugh at you. Tell her she caught your eye or you thought she was attractive. Ask to pull her aside and speak with her. If she finds you attractive or is intrigued in you she will step aside with you. If not then your work is done. Dust yourself off and move on to the next. But chances are she'll step aside just to see what you have to say.

Getting her away from her girls is key for more than one reason:
1) You won't have them staring you down with an attitude because they're not not getting any "play".
2) She won't have any distractions and can fully listen to what you have to say and you're able to start up the general What's your name, what's your Alma mater, or whatever type of convo you're looking to have outside of SEX.

Once the convo has begun then you should offer her a drink. This drink is not to get her drunk so you can take her home or have your way with her. Oh and for those lames that believe that I bought you a drink you owe me your time and the rest of your night really need to let it go. A $7.00 drink isn't hurting your pockets.Yes we're in a recession but if you're that broke you shouldn't be out at all! Some women will except but those that aren't drinking or choose not to accept a drink from a man (due to past terrifying experiences) will reject it. You should not take more than 15 mins of this woman's time, UNLESS she decides to stay. But if she is out with just 1 of her girls chances are she will say she has to get back to her  friend & you should let her go. If the brief conversation is going well you then exchange numbers.... Its a myth that a man must take a woman's number and call her first. Yes its the thrill of the chase but I have been told by several men that men like some contact to be initiated as well just to eleviate some of the stress that comes along with a new connection or friend. Plus a lot of people don't answer unknown numbers anyway & her having yours guarantees she will answer your call.

Bam you're done!! Nothing else is needed. Don't follow her throughout the club. Don't continue to stare at her for the rest of the night. Don't turn into a Casanova in the club either and try to hit on 50 other women that are there that night. You look bad and chances are she won't answer you when you call.

Women like to feel the sexy and we need a confident man. We don't want someone to come at us like they have a rehearsed line because every situation is completely different and what worked on Elise won't work on Sharon. If you be yourself and approach a woman with the respect she deserves (despite what she is wearing) you may get some interesting results....

I hope this helps those lacking game or are trying to figure out why they always get laughed at or ignored at the club or any public space.

***borrowed photos from stlonfire.com***

Stress Free Friday Night + Recess = Relationship?

Friday I went out and caught up with some old friends. It was nice to "social" mingle on a Friday night.3 events in 1 it was a little bit overwhelming... Too much going on in 1 place a extremely small place may I add. It was a great night out. You know when you have old friends together especially female friends the relationship conversation would come up. The lies, cheating, so on and so forth.  When having a convo with friends in 4 different relationship "paths" such as one who is married, one single like me, and one who is in a standard relationship you're bound to have a "debate". Not this night though we were enjoying Recess and having a Stress Free Friday. Talking with them made you get into the mentality of I'm a single woman who has reached an age that has me ready for my husband or a mate. Here we are sitting having conversations with 2 friends that are already "booed up" and they begin having couples chat. You single and in a relationship people can understand what I mean. The "Hey girl you, me, x, & y need to have dinner... yadda, yadda, yadda." Don't get me wrong I'm happy my girls have men that love them but having that chat while your single girls are around not cool... Not to mention it's annoying. Yes women especially black women get together we talk about men just like we talk about fashion, hair, fitness, and so many other things. But couples chat while you're sitting with single friends sometimes feels like a smack in the face. Don't sit in front of your single friends planning couples outings. I'm a person who believes that certain things that occur aren't right by any means and I have to address it  especially when it effects a friend. Especially if your relationship is based on devious behavior.... But that's a whole different blog at a later date. I am learning not to do that and let "sleeping dogs lie" as an older & much wiser woman told me once.

I was speaking with a very established woman in the entertainment industry for promotions in St. Louis, New York, Chicago, heck everywhere. I look up to her and admire her as a woman in business and life. We were talking about being in an relationship while in the industry. She told me that when she got started she was already married. So the stressors of  getting into a relationship really weren't there. The struggle of wondering if the guy that approached you to chat was wanting to chat with you and get to know you or looking for a way in & up wasn't a concern of hers. I have been surrounded by the industry for years and I made the choice to get involved. I went in with the mindset of I shall be single & have fun. Yes I dated & hung out with several men but not with the mindset of you're going to be my man. Well not until these past couple of years. Recently it dawned on me that my fear of being used kept me from allowing anybody in to be with me.... the real me. Men in the promotions/marketing game fail to realize that women have groupies too male & female groupies. Every event, concert, etc. I did was  on a low key tip, no one needed to know who I was or what I had to do with anything. Sitting in the background with my Blackberry, pointing my finger, and giving orders. All I did was work regular 9-5 in the day and nightlife 9-5. Running a nightclub, being a hospice nurse, a promoter, not to mention a mom, legal guardian, small socialite. I didn't have time nor the patience for sorting through whether or not a guy was genuinely into me.

Now I have changed my whole outlook on life. Maybe I'm getting older or just ready for a real mate. She told me that "the best advice that I can give is date outside of the industry". Hilarious thing, everyone that I meet has an connection to the industry. I look at my guy friend promoters/marketers, well those that are in a REAL relationships and they all have married or are dating outside professionals. They are very happy and the women that they are involved with understand the politics. Men on the other hand a whole other story. Case in point. My recent ex and I were out at a venue and I ran into a guy friend of mine who just happens to play pro football. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a hugger, So I embraced him (not a full on embrace but a hug) and then turned to introduce my ex to him and who's face was twisted but he still spoke.  He seemed to be upset or jealous. As we were leaving the gentleman & I were saying our byes and followed up with "Shai you really need to come to one of my games" before I could say something my ex responded "We will"... Wow really are we jealous? Lets just say that ruined the rest of our night. Jealousy is something I don't do, especially not from a man.

Yeah I was all over the place mentally on Friday, I know one thing though in 2011 I hope that the LORD sends me an understanding man... My life and as you can see Friday Nights are just a wee bit complicated. lol

**Some photos were courtesy of bfreepaparazzi.com**

I Think I Have A Crush... In More Ways Than 1!!!

I've known of this group for just about 5 years or so... I was their manager when they were affiliated with Pegasus Worldwide and since they have blown up since being under the watchful eye of Ms. Jackie Phillips of WhereUWant2B Entertainment. Here is the latest from MoTre featuring the ever so gorgeous Ebony Eyes: Crush. Check it out and tell me what you think...

Shout out to MoTre, Ebony Eyes, Jackie Philips, Phat Buddha Studios, RemRod Photography, Young Ro, all of the gorgeous ladies from St. Louis that made an appearance. 

Too Comfortable

I read once that you shouldn't get too comfortable in anything especially relationships, "Someone is always waiting right there to take your place". Thats a very interesting statement. When I was younger I use to be the woman waiting to take someone's place. I had a mentality of "if he don't mind, then I don't care". I believe that is where a lot of my insecurities in relationships stem from. Why I can't trust a man because I've seen first hand what they are capable of. Having the girlfriend and the "boo" in the same room working his way back and forth because as long as everyone (myself & him) understands what is really going on then there shouldn't be any problems. Hell I use to get a rush out of being with the dude while his chick was there. Rubbing up on him and teasing him while she was across the room. Don't forget the "introduction" watching him squirm when she asks who I was. I played my role and my part. I was satisfied with everything that was going on between us. Sexing him and sending him home. Back then I didn't like sharing my bed when I was sleep. Every once in a while I'd slip up and wish he cold stay to keep me warm but ofcourse his cell would chime with her face or text and he'd have to leave. They say Karma is something else and I'm not sure what my payback would be. I never broke up a relationship or put it out there who I was dealing with and some of them are now married and yes THEY STILL CALL & TEXT ME...Telling me how much they miss me and wish I was still in their lives.

Now that I'm older and have been in my first "relationship". I sit back and watch others and how comfortable they are in them and laugh. I believe some women are content in be the "girlfriend/wifey" so regardless of what their guy is doing as long as they get what they wanted out of the relationship its all good. I can't be that type of woman, I can't be cool with that. Last year a guy I use to date texted me on Valentine's Day telling me how much he missed me and loved me so he wanted to make sure I knew it on the "day of love". That would of been nice if he wasn't in Chicago with his current girlfriend professing his love for her.

I guess the mentality of  you're single until you walk down the isle rings true to some. But not all... That's why so many men wind up on Cheaters and with busted windows, keyed cars, bleached clothes, & Snickers in their gas tanks. Because they love Raquel but sex Sheila. My latest relationship the knowledge that I have from being the other woman before stopped me from giving my all. I just gave him what he wanted versus what he needed. I never got comfortable much less too comfortable. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because of that I'm single now. I have asked for forgiveness for my past indiscretions and I shall proceed on working to be a better woman, lover, and friend. Especially now that I am praying for a successful relationship that I can be comfortable in... Just not too comfortable.

The Game... Lame?

SORRY FOR SOME REASON THIS DIDN'T GET POSTED LAST NIGHT!!!

So the highly anticipated, fought for and sought after show "The Game" aired its first episode tonight of their return season. Ofcourse being a true fan I waited, set the DVR, and turned all of my TV's to BET. Made sure my light and low fat diet friendly snack was ready. First came the VIPeek on 106 & Park. Let me state that Tia Mowry aka Melanie aka Girl Melanie aka Med School's weave jobs have gotten progressively better throughout their "promotional" tour via the talk shows. Finding out that Terrence from 106 was going to be on there enticed me even more. Yes I have a small crush on that fine specimen of a man.

Anywho at 9p we get the opener with Mr. Derwin Davis (Pooch Hall) in the middle of a media frenzy Ms. Tasha Mack (Wendy Raquel Robinson) cursing someone out in true Tasha form. They had me set and ready to go for the show. The production value has tremendously improved you can tell the invested the money into the production in the show and the sets of the scenes. Which in some cases it was good. But for some reason, call me crazy but the scenes were awkward. I mean it seemed to be over acted. Tia Mowry completely over acted Melanie and Brittany Daniel over acted Kelly Pitts. Colby Bell seemed the same arrogant a-hole he was and as well as Hosea Chancez as Malik Wright. They made Derwin extremely overly emotional on this episode.

I don't like Melanie's new character and I know the story line is 2 years later but dang she's a bitter married black woman jealous of a 2 year old? Really!!! Not cool. Tasha has a new boy toy but has become a punk when it comes to Kelly. Where did the hard Tasha Mack go? Not cool. Malik is the same "I'm the shit" Malik has been and Ms. Meagan Goode is an awesome addition to the cast an they couldn't of picked a more perfect person to play a cheating rich old man's wife. I love the beef between Kelly and Jason its natural on a bitter breakup but would of like to see the ever so gorgeous Ms. Stacey Dash aka Camille back as a cast member. What happened to Malik's sister? I figured she'd be a singing sensation now. "TT" is going to get back at the dogness of Malik. I miss the goofy antics of TT and hope he gets back to his old self.

All in all the new layout of the show will have to grow on me. I will have to get use to it because its NO WHERE near what I hoped it would of been like. Will I tune in next we DEFINITELY... I need to know how Girl Melanie is going to get herself out of this situation... lol. Until then Adios!!!!

Busts vs Donks

Being a black (1/3 part) woman I have came across many black men that idolize the "big ass". I have several guy friends and I quote "thick with a fat azz is an ideal womanly figure in every ethnicity". So being a single woman I wonder hmm...is that the reason why I'm single? Because I don't have an "donk" it makes me unattractive to black man. Probably not. I believe its the shallowness of the man. Most of the women that I see have huge donks aren't even attractive.

What is the fascination with butts? You can't do anything with it but watch them move and shit out of. They don't even serve a purpose. Sure they are nice in a pair of jeans, but what else? I found out most women that have these "phat asses" get Brazilian Butt Lifts & implants in order to make it big. Hell I was even considering it. Not anymore. Why to appease a man that will only love me because my booty is bigger? Nah, I'll pass. Men say its nice to watch.... Something to grab on... Um okay, is that it? Take the picture to the right. Ms Buffie The Body, ofcourse she has a big booty but what else does she offer. Is she intelligent? NO. Can she hold a conversation? Probably about the most recent hip hop video she has done or maybe what celebrity she has slept with. Some that are reading this may deem me as a "hater". Never. I'm just trying to understand what the hype is about. Its kinda like the Natural hair vs. Relaxed/Weaved hair debate. Someone said straight hair is better than your own naturally curly hair.So you have women like Ms. Buffie the Body rocking weaves that cost more than some peoples mortgage. So here we go with another cliche that you ain't black or sexy if your waist isn't a certain size and butt a certain width.

Now to the left you have me... Please excuse the facial expression that is the side effects of my drunken birthday celebration, the diva really shines. Back to the subject at hand. As you can see I am blessed with the breasts and I love them. I consider myself a gorgeous woman. Plus I'm black... Well black, Puerto Rican, & German. FYI I don't have an "ass"!!! Does me not having an ass make me a less attactive woman than Ms. Buffie? Better yet do me not having an "ass" make me any less than an attractive black woman to a black man? I wonder. Fellas don't be shy to comment on this one. As much as you are to post and talk about women with the butt shots all over the internet.... 

The Fast... Day 2

Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. I cheated a little bit. My family made some chili and i had a spoonful and felt horrible afterwards. Drinking water and only water is hard. Today I went to the doctor and advised me that in his medical opinion my fasting isn't in my better interest. He asked me "Shai what are you tryin to do? What is your ultimate goal in doing this?" at first I was thinking about shedding some pounds and clearing my body of waste. But after thinking about it I've never been a quitter and have never given up on anything that I believe in. Now its about the focus on completing my goal and not getting sick and dying from it. My doctor advised me that he strongly suggests that I do no continue on with this fast.. He told me to wait atleast 3 to 4 weeks before fasting to allow my body to get back to 100% after my high blood pressure and ulcer. SO with that being said I'm taking my docots advice and discontinuing the fast. I feel like a quitter right now but he believes that with my past medical history and this recent incident that I am not in the condition to continue the fast.

Hmm... Bad Girls 6

So tonight was the season premiere of Oygen's Bad Girl's Club... They took it back to LA. I'm glad that they came back so quick for the newest season I promise I was going through withdraws. This is my thing... I loved Brandi on Season 5. I hated Lea I swear I wish she would come back to St. Louis. I hate over the top "I wanna be hard" chicks. She talks way too much shit. Christina I believe was the baddest "bitch" in the house because she took all of the mess and still fought back & stayed in the house. Cat I respected her and my ex watched the show just because of her. Why? Her body is banging. Erica was too standoffish and everybody else I could of cared less for.

Now its Season 6 they're back in LA and I'm sure the Bad Girl hog Natalie Nunn will make an appearance because as she has tried to say "she runs LA". The new season started tonight... YAY!!!!!!! I believe my fav will be Char... We'll see though. I see me in her and am glad I'm getting older because there is a cut off age for "Bad Girls" I believe 28 is the cut off (and yes I'm cheating because I'm 27, lol). Let me state this the chat feature that Oxygen set up for the show sucks and they need to get that ish together ASAP.

 Jade is a lush a and on the first episode she shows that she can't hold her liquor. Nikki & Jessica irritated me within the first 20 mins. I love Sydney so far but I think eventually she will irritate me too. Kori and Lauren haven't done anything to stand out to me but I think they will eventually rub me the wrong way. So the first night all hell broke lose, everyone is already againt Jade. Why is it that women always believe when someone doesn't like them its jealousy. There isn't that much jealousy in the world for some one not to like you. Nikki isn't anything but a bully. I believe her parents wanted a boy and got her so she is doing everything she can to be a "boy" BITCH climb the hell out of the jock strap. This isn't a football game and roughing up the youngest and smallest girl in the house isn't showing or proving anything. First episode and Jade went home. 1 down lets see how many come and go this season.

All in all this season is going to be off the chain and I'll be strapped to my couch, bed, or chair for every episode. Whether its recorded on my DVR or its show time Shai will be sitting there

The Fast... Day 1

After doing some research over the past few days I've decided to start my "Fast" today. 7-days of water and juice (prune juice in particular) to cleanse my mind, body, and spirit. Get rid of the toxins in my body and relieve some pressure from my spirit. Clear body + Clear mind = Clear Spirit.

Yeah I know it sounds real nice don't it. I LOVE food... No seriously I literally LOVE food. Recently I was diagnosed with a Peptic Ulcer & High Blood Pressure both my doctor believes was stress induced. My blood pressure has since decreased and the Ulcer has healed. I as a mother was taking on entirely too much and started to take its toll on my body. I have 2 boys to live for and need to get my life and body back. Fluctuation in weight and stress levels is really taking its toll. Some fast for 30 to 90 days and all of that is cool but not I said the fat girl. lol. 7 days is all I really need considering my diet has already been modified due to the recent health issues...

So here we go The Fast... Day 1.

If anyone out there have any suggestions or questions please comment. Thanx    

Day 1- Higher Heights

I didn't know what I wanted in 2011. Whether or not I wanted to be in a relationship or what. One thing I did know was that I didn't want to make the same resolutions that are standard every year that are never successful. You know the I wanna lose weight, or get a new and better job, or be in an relationship. Don't get me wrong I want all of those things but right now I just am not sure. So today 1.10.2011 is Day1 for me. What happens next is up to me. I pray that the Lord takes me to higher heights. I started this blog to document my day to day achievements and goals with being a single mother, future lover, business woman, employee, daughter, sister, and friend. You can call this my e-journal as you will. Video posts, written posts, articles, and topics that matter to me. Why? Because at the end of the Day... I'm all that matters.