Road Map... Always Someones Speed Bump

Its no secret I come from a checkered past. The epitome of the colored girl trying to make it out of her neighborhood and build something for herself. Maybe that's where I went wrong. Focusing on having the things that I didn't have as a child. Making sure that my kids didn't have to go through what I went through as a child. Being 27 and not doing a committed relationship at all but having 2 children doesn't add up. But that's a whole completely different blog in itself.

I have learned my pattern, I have learned where I continue to go wrong what is the common denominator in the ending of my recent relationships. Its amazing because a lot of the gentlemen that I recently dated have became friends of mine. The main reason they say we "ended" was because I was too pushy. When I asked why they believe that one stated "because Shai we were having fun and you popped up asking what were we doing." So me asking after dating for 6 months exactly where we were and what was our current standing, I was too pushy?  What is the appropriate way to find out where a dating "friendship" is heading just for clarity? I reached out to several of friends and brothers and they told me "men like for the next step to be their idea". Understandable to a certain point. Its no secret that men like to have control but why is it too pushy to ask?

SO technically I have lost 2 possible relationships because I was too pushy. Now on to the title "Road Map... Always Someones Speed Bump", I pretty sure you're trying to figure out why I named it that. Each of these gentlemen just after ending our "courtship" immediately wound up in a full on public relationship with other women. I say public because pictures popped up on social networking sites as well as "relationship status" changes so on and so forth. Its amazing because you sit back and think to yourself where did I go wrong and what did I do? I asked one of them and their response "she went with the flow of things and never questioned what we were doing or pressed the issue. She was a "safe" choice." Safe... Really she was safe? What was I dangerous? Yet in still they press the issue of "how good we could of been together if I hadn't of proposed the question" matter of fact one of the 2 even told me "we probably would of been engaged"... HMM. Food for thought: At the end of the day you're still calling me and flirting.

That's why I have these 2 phrases:
Always someones speed bump to happiness...
Never a bride... Always a mistress.

Hope you've enjoyed this read I some you have been waiting a long time. lol