Stress Free Friday Night + Recess = Relationship?

Friday I went out and caught up with some old friends. It was nice to "social" mingle on a Friday night.3 events in 1 it was a little bit overwhelming... Too much going on in 1 place a extremely small place may I add. It was a great night out. You know when you have old friends together especially female friends the relationship conversation would come up. The lies, cheating, so on and so forth.  When having a convo with friends in 4 different relationship "paths" such as one who is married, one single like me, and one who is in a standard relationship you're bound to have a "debate". Not this night though we were enjoying Recess and having a Stress Free Friday. Talking with them made you get into the mentality of I'm a single woman who has reached an age that has me ready for my husband or a mate. Here we are sitting having conversations with 2 friends that are already "booed up" and they begin having couples chat. You single and in a relationship people can understand what I mean. The "Hey girl you, me, x, & y need to have dinner... yadda, yadda, yadda." Don't get me wrong I'm happy my girls have men that love them but having that chat while your single girls are around not cool... Not to mention it's annoying. Yes women especially black women get together we talk about men just like we talk about fashion, hair, fitness, and so many other things. But couples chat while you're sitting with single friends sometimes feels like a smack in the face. Don't sit in front of your single friends planning couples outings. I'm a person who believes that certain things that occur aren't right by any means and I have to address it  especially when it effects a friend. Especially if your relationship is based on devious behavior.... But that's a whole different blog at a later date. I am learning not to do that and let "sleeping dogs lie" as an older & much wiser woman told me once.

I was speaking with a very established woman in the entertainment industry for promotions in St. Louis, New York, Chicago, heck everywhere. I look up to her and admire her as a woman in business and life. We were talking about being in an relationship while in the industry. She told me that when she got started she was already married. So the stressors of  getting into a relationship really weren't there. The struggle of wondering if the guy that approached you to chat was wanting to chat with you and get to know you or looking for a way in & up wasn't a concern of hers. I have been surrounded by the industry for years and I made the choice to get involved. I went in with the mindset of I shall be single & have fun. Yes I dated & hung out with several men but not with the mindset of you're going to be my man. Well not until these past couple of years. Recently it dawned on me that my fear of being used kept me from allowing anybody in to be with me.... the real me. Men in the promotions/marketing game fail to realize that women have groupies too male & female groupies. Every event, concert, etc. I did was  on a low key tip, no one needed to know who I was or what I had to do with anything. Sitting in the background with my Blackberry, pointing my finger, and giving orders. All I did was work regular 9-5 in the day and nightlife 9-5. Running a nightclub, being a hospice nurse, a promoter, not to mention a mom, legal guardian, small socialite. I didn't have time nor the patience for sorting through whether or not a guy was genuinely into me.

Now I have changed my whole outlook on life. Maybe I'm getting older or just ready for a real mate. She told me that "the best advice that I can give is date outside of the industry". Hilarious thing, everyone that I meet has an connection to the industry. I look at my guy friend promoters/marketers, well those that are in a REAL relationships and they all have married or are dating outside professionals. They are very happy and the women that they are involved with understand the politics. Men on the other hand a whole other story. Case in point. My recent ex and I were out at a venue and I ran into a guy friend of mine who just happens to play pro football. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a hugger, So I embraced him (not a full on embrace but a hug) and then turned to introduce my ex to him and who's face was twisted but he still spoke.  He seemed to be upset or jealous. As we were leaving the gentleman & I were saying our byes and followed up with "Shai you really need to come to one of my games" before I could say something my ex responded "We will"... Wow really are we jealous? Lets just say that ruined the rest of our night. Jealousy is something I don't do, especially not from a man.

Yeah I was all over the place mentally on Friday, I know one thing though in 2011 I hope that the LORD sends me an understanding man... My life and as you can see Friday Nights are just a wee bit complicated. lol

**Some photos were courtesy of bfreepaparazzi.com**